I get back to work around noon and she asks me for a specific form. Not hello, just that she needs a form from me. She asked me if I still had the form I had already filled out. I told her no because she kept that form. She insisted she didn’t. I insisted she did. Bitch did not give me back the form. Bitch has so much shit on her desk, and it hasn’t been cleaned for ages. She asked me if I could do a new form. I said okay and did it. I handed it to her and she said “no, not this form, that other form.” Bitch, you came over to my desk on Wednesday and found the form for me to use and told me to print it out and give it to you!! Jeez! She keeps changing shit on us because she’s not sure of anything herself.

Then she mentioned my hours and told me the pay period had ended and I really needed to make the hours up next week. By this time I’m getting pissed off and frustrated because I had already made up two of the three hours. She said that’s okay, she will just move the hours already made up to next week. I rearranged my schedule (which she couldn’t care less about) just to make up two of those hours by the time she had told me it was the wrong pay period. I was clearly upset and almost to the point of tears. I really want to tell this person she’s not fit for the job. Everyone seems to think she’s not fit for it.

Later she called me into the office and said she was sorry for upsetting me and I’m right, it was a miscommunication, and I should know she is very straightforward, etc. Blah blah blah I basically told her if she had done everything correctly the first time none of this would’ve have happened. I am trying to do the right thing, not be difficult, etc. She said “no, no, you’re fine!” I am thinking she’s not. Yet it was very nice she apologized but as another employee said, “she’s just going to do it again.” If she can be that honest I hope she can be honest with herself and realize the supervisor position isn’t for her. A new employee will not be that familiar with the company’s rules. In her first email to me when she asked me if I wanted to make up the time (instead of using personal/vacation time) she should have told me…

• You can only make up a maximum of 3 hours per week.
• If the day you want off is later than Thursday it will effect your next pay period.
• Keep in mind it has to be the same week, otherwise make it up next week.
• You will need to fill out 2, not 1, but 2 forms, and you can find them……

I dread going into that place now. I hear my unit has gone through 3 supervisors in a year. The work is hard and only one person really understands it- and it’s not her.

I knew in the beginning what I was dealing with and how she would be a piece of work, when her son was sick and she wouldn’t leave to pick him up. “I can’t leave now.” God! I drop everything!

I wish I could slap her sometimes. I think she thinks she’s a Barbie doll. That’s what I should call her on my blog. Hahahah.

Have a great Saturday afternoon.

T and I took an quiz about our erotic personalities. I am a romantic and he’s a partier. Crazy sick. This Sage Vivant person just came out with a book so I thought I’d check it out. I must say- the description fits me. T’s is just plain weird. He said he couldn’t answer a few questions because they didn’t really apply. Uh huh. Riiight.

I am hitting it so I can be closer to Friday. Why does the weekend go so fast? It’s not fair.

Nite, bitches.

This is what she has to say about all the hype surrounding her. Posted on her blog today.

2 Whole Paragraphs

9/11 affected me deeply, as I know it did many Americans. The falling of the twin towers served to remind me that many of the assumptions Americans have about their lives are rooted in false feelings of security. In light of this reminder, I have begun doing exactly what this country, at its best, allows for me to do: inquire. Investigate. America is great in so many ways, one of which is the freedom to speak, and indeed think, freely. I have, of late, begun exercising the rights bestowed upon me by the democratic system I value, and the exercising of these rights has taken the form of an inquiry into what happened five years ago, an inquiry that resists the dominant explanations and that dares to entertain ideas that push me to the edge of what is bearable. I have come to no conclusions and, given the scope of the subject, will not for some time.

If the very act of asking is so destabilizing for people, than I have to wonder whether the fabric of our democracy is indeed so raveled it is beyond salvage. My own belief is that the act of asking is itself reparative, because it brings to life the values on which our constitution rests. I am, therefore, pledging my allegiance, hand over heart, trying, as always, for a rigorous truth.

I hate coming into work on a Monday morning. I say good morning to everyone and it never fails, nobody says it back. Know what I did today? I didn’t say one word to anyone. I went in there, did my work and left. I think that is so fucking rude of people. What the hell is everyone so pissed off about? Aren’t they happy they woke up this morning? Aren’t they happy they have a job?

Friday they all ganged up against this one employee simply because she knows all the answers. It’s just jealousy. Even the supervisor was stirring the pot. Of course the employee had already left. I thought it was really rude and mean. They cut their nose off to spite their faces. Now they can’t ask her questions. They go to her all day long. Now they’re screwed.

I plan on going in and doing the exact same thing tomorrow. It’s safer.

Hebrews are so much better.

The museum was beautiful. The security guards really have sticks up their ass. I sat down on a chair with my leg under me. Big mistake. Someone had to tell me to put my leg down. My daughter stood too close to the wall. We were just getting in all kinds of trouble. I was so glad to leave. The paintings and sculptures were beautiful and so were the pieces of 17th century furniture. I hope to post some pictures.

Of course we had to go to Canter’s and get some bakery goodies.

I found this on Splendora and thought it was good. After getting away last week and going to Hollywood this week….

Little Miss Hollywood: Life Lessons Learned at Bris

Sometimes the best part of living in LA is leaving it, and if the best excuse you can find is to attend the bris of a friend’s friend’s baby, then so be it.

This weekend a very sweet little boy named Gideon sacrificed his foreskin so that I could spend some time in San Francisco. Actually, it had nothing to do with me, but I was very happy to take the opportunity to get out of dodge (and visit my dear friend, Splendora editor, Karen Bard).

And while I was walking through the mist-filled streets, shivering in my LA-appropriate open-toed shoes, I was reminded of some very important things: the world is vast, there are infinite possibilities for what to do within it, life is beautiful, short, and sometimes painful, and all that really matters is connecting with people we love and perhaps creating a little legacy to leave behind.

When you are living in Hollywood, it is very easy to become a solipsist. There are times when it seems that perhaps your mind, and this crazy business, are the only things that exist. For a writer this is an easy trap to fall into – especially if you’ve been obsessively trying to finish a screenplay for months – so getting away, and seeing that life is going on outside of you, is key.

And so I want to take this opportunity to send a little “thank you” to my friend who thought it would be a good idea to invite me to a barbaric religious ritual which makes very little sense (but was very well catered), because the significance of sharing in a young boy’s first rite of passage was more therapeutic than expected.

The moyel of the story… sometimes a little bris can go a long way.

Time to get ready for the work week that’s ahead.

Damn, this Starbucks Kenya brand is really strong. I’m going a 100 mph.

Maybe I’ll post some pics when I return. Have a good day.

Thu Mar 29, 4:19 AM ET

From television revealing that spaghetti grows on trees to advertisements for the left-handed burger, the tradition of April Fool’s Day stories in the media has a weird and wonderful history.

Here are 10 of the top April Fool’s Day pranks ever pulled off, as judged by the San Diego-based Museum of Hoaxes for their notoriety, absurdity, and number of people duped.
– In 1957, a BBC television show announced that thanks to a mild winter and the virtual elimination of the spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. Footage of Swiss farmers pulling strands of spaghetti from trees prompted a barrage of calls from people wanting to know how to grow their own spaghetti at home.

– In 1985, Sports Illustrated magazine published a story that a rookie baseball pitcher who could reportedly throw a ball at 270 kilometers per hour (168 miles per hour) was set to join the New York Mets. Finch was said to have mastered his skill — pitching significantly faster than anyone else has ever managed — in a Tibetan monastery. Mets fans’ celebrations were short-lived.

– Sweden in 1962 had only one television channel, which broadcast in black and white. The station’s technical expert appeared on the news to announce that thanks to a newly developed technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to receive color pictures by pulling a nylon stocking over the screen. In fact, they had to wait until 1970.

– In 1996, American fast-food chain Taco Bell announced that it had bought Philadelphia’s Liberty Bell, a historic symbol of American independence, from the federal government and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell.

Outraged citizens called to express their anger before Taco Bell revealed the hoax. Then-White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale and said the Lincoln Memorial in Washington had also been sold and was to be renamed the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial after the automotive giant.

– In 1977, British newspaper The Guardian published a seven-page supplement for the 10th anniversary of San Serriffe, a small republic located in the Indian Ocean consisting of several semicolon-shaped islands. A series of articles described the geography and culture of the two main islands, named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse.

– In 1992, US National Public Radio announced that Richard Nixon was running for president again. His new campaign slogan was, “I didn’t do anything wrong, and I won’t do it again.” They even had clips of Nixon announcing his candidacy. Listeners flooded the show with calls expressing their outrage. Nixon’s voice actually turned out to be that of impersonator Rich Little.

– In 1998, a newsletter titled New Mexicans for Science and Reason carried an article that the state of Alabama had voted to change the value of pi from 3.14159 to the “Biblical value” of 3.0.

– Burger King, another American fast-food chain, published a full-page advertisement in USA Today in 1998 announcing the introduction of the “Left-Handed Whopper,” specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new burger included the same ingredients as the original, but the condiments were rotated 180 degrees. The chain said it received thousands of requests for the new burger, as well as orders for the original “right-handed” version.

– Discover Magazine announced in 1995 that a highly respected biologist, Aprile Pazzo (Italian for April Fool), had discovered a new species in Antarctica: the hotheaded naked ice borer. The creatures were described as having bony plates on their heads that became burning hot, allowing the animals to bore through ice at high speed — a technique they used to hunt penguins.

– Noted British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on the radio in 1976 that at 9:47 am, a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event, in which Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, would cause a gravitational alignment that would reduce the Earth’s gravity. Moore told listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment of the planetary alignment, they would experience a floating sensation. Hundreds of people called in to report feeling the sensation.

Simple as pie. Just as long as the only thing that’s cracking is my whip.